A skill, according the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, is a learned power of doing something competently: a developed aptitude or ability. The skill of listening is a skill that I believe everyone should have but most people lack. Many people do not realize that listening is not merely the act of hearing a sound but of paying close attention to what someone is saying and trying to understand the message that they are trying to relate to you. Most times people say they are listening when in all actuality they are merely hearing you but not even attempting to understand what is being spoken of. The advantages of being a good listener are vast. This skill can positively affect many parts of our everyday life and interaction with people. Nevertheless, it is a skilled that is overlooked in today’s unmindful society. The reason I believe that listening is of such importance is because nowadays people have developed the mentality of “every man for himself.” People are not concerned about their fellows anymore. We are only concerned about our own issues and problems. Listening is a skill that is acquired throughout a lifetime. It is an important virtue when it comes to communication.People should be taught from childhood the importance of learning how to listen. If we realized how much we would benefit from being good listeners, I believe that things would change. Lack of listening skills affects marriages, parents and children, teachers and students, employers and employees, foreign affairs, and the list goes on. If a husband and wife learned to sit down and listen attentively to each other they could avoid many misunderstandings that oftentimes lead to disputes, separation and ultimately divorce. Lack of understanding between children and parents is a very frustrating situation. Parents find themselves unable to effectively and efficiently raise their children and provide guidance for them in situations that requires attention. If many teachers would strive at developing good listening skills there would be a decrease in the number of children that fall by the wayside unnoticed and never acquire a proper education. The skill of listening would prove very effective in the workplace because employers would realize what would motivate their employees and their employees would in turn be motivated and cause an increase in production. In foreign affairs listening would decrease the misunderstanding that so often can develop into animosities that can one day escalate to full blown wars.
Listening is receiving language through the ears. Listening involves identifying the sounds of speech and processing them into words and sentences. When we listen, we use our ears to receive individual sounds [letters, stress, rhythm and pauses] and we use our brain to convert these into messages that mean something to us.
Listening in any language requires focus and attention. It is a skill that some people need to work at harder than others. People who have difficulty concentrating are typically poor listeners. Listening in a second language requires even greater focus.
Like babies, we learn this skill by listening to people who already know how to speak the language. This may or may not include native speakers. For practice, you can listen to live or recorded voices. The most important thing is to listen to a variety of voices as often as you can.
Listening is the first of the four language skills, which are:
- Listening
- Speaking
- Reading
- Writing
To become a fluent speaker in English, you need to develop strong listening skills. Listening not only helps you understand what people are saying to you. It also helps you to speak clearly to other people. It helps you learn how to pronounce words properly, how to use intonation, and where to place stress in words and sentences. This makes your speech easier for other people listening to you to understand!
Our Listening Skills Guide offers strategies and tips for better English listening.
See also: Top Tips for Effective Listening
Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process.
Listening is key to all effective communication. Without the ability to listen effectively, messages are easily misunderstood. As a result, communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.
If there is one communication skill you should aim to master, then listening is it.
Listening is so important that many top employers provide listening skills training for their employees. This is not surprising when you consider that good listening skills can lead to better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, and increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work.
Many successful leaders and entrepreneurs credit their success to effective listening skills. Richard Branson frequently quotes listening as one of the main factors behind the success of Virgin.
Effective listening is a skill that underpins all positive human relationships.
Spend some time thinking about and developing your listening skills – they are the building blocks of success.
See our pages: Employability Skills and Customer Service Skills for more examples of the importance of listening in the workplace.
Good listening skills also have benefits in our personal lives, including:
A greater number of friends and social networks, improved self-esteem and confidence, higher grades at school and in academic work, and even better health and general well-being.
Studies have shown that, whereas speaking raises blood pressure, attentive listening can bring it down.
Listening is Not the Same as Hearing
Hearing refers to the sounds that enter your ears. It is a physical process that, provided you do not have any hearing problems, happens automatically.
Listening, however, requires more than that: it requires focus and concentrated effort, both mental and sometimes physical as well.
Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Your ability to listen effectively depends on the degree to which you perceive and understand these messages.
Listening is not a passive process. In fact, the listener can, and should, be at least as engaged in the process as the speaker. The phrase ‘active listening’ is used to describe this process of being fully involved.
See our pages: Active Listening and Types of Listening for more information.
The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen
Adults spend an average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication.
Of this, research shows that an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9% writing. [Adler, R. et al. 2001]. That is, by any standards, a lot of time listening. It is worthwhile, therefore, taking a bit of extra time to ensure that you listen effectively.
Based on the research of: Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L. and Proctor, R. [2001]
Interplay: the process of interpersonal communicating [8th edn], Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt.
The Purpose of Listening
There is no doubt that effective listening is an extremely important life skill. Why is listening so important?
Listening serves a number of possible purposes, and the purpose of listening will depend on the situation and the nature of the communication.
To specifically focus on the messages being communicated, avoiding distractions and preconceptions.
To gain a full and accurate understanding into the speakers point of view and ideas.
To critically assess what is being said. [See our page on Critical Thinking for more].
To observe the non-verbal signals accompanying what is being said to enhance understanding.
To show interest, concern and concentration.
To encourage the speaker to communicate fully, openly and honestly.
To develop an selflessness approach, putting the speaker first.
To arrive at a shared and agreed understanding and acceptance of both sides views.
Often our main concern while listening is to formulate ways to respond. This is not a function of listening. We should try to focus fully on what is being said and how it's being said in order to more fully understand the speaker.
Effective listening requires concentration and the use of your other senses - not just hearing the words spoken.
Listening is not the same as hearing and in order to listen effectively you need to use more than just your ears.
See our page: The Ten Principles of Listening.
Further Reading from Skills You Need
Our Communication Skills eBooks
Learn more about the key communication skills you need to be a more effective communicator.
Our eBooks are ideal for anyone who wants to learn about or develop their interpersonal skills and are full of easy-to-follow, practical information.
Barriers to Effective Listening
To improve the process of effective listening, it can be helpful to turn the problem on its head and look at barriers to effective listening, or ineffective listening.
For example, one common problem is that instead of listening closely to what someone is saying, we often get distracted after a sentence or two and instead start to think about what we are going to say in reply or think about unrelated things. This means that we do not fully listen to the rest of the speaker’s message.
This problem is attributed, in part, to the difference between average speech rate and average processing rate. Average speech rates are between 125 and 175 words a minute whereas we can process on average between 400 and 800 words a minute. It is a common habit for the listener to use the spare time while listening to daydream or think about other things, rather than focusing on what the speaker is saying.
Of course the clarity of what the speaker is saying can also affect how well we listen. Generally we find it easier to focus if the speaker is fluent in their speech, has a familiar accent, and speaks at an appropriate loudness for the situation. It is more difficult, for example, to focus on somebody who is speaking very fast and very quietly, especially if they are conveying complex information.
We may also get distracted by the speaker’s personal appearance or by what someone else is saying, which sounds more interesting.
These issues not only affect you, but you are likely to show your lack of attention in your body language.
Generally, we find it much harder to control our body language, and you are likely to show your distraction and/or lack of interest by lack of eye contact, or posture. The speaker will detect the problem, and probably stop talking at best. At worse, they may be very offended or upset.
Our page on Barriers to Effective Listening explains more about common listening problems, and our page Listening Misconceptions details some of the common myths and misconceptions about listening.
Finally, it is important not to jump to conclusions about what you see and hear. You should always seek clarification to ensure that your understanding is correct.
See our pages: Clarification and Reflection for more information.