Which of the following is NOT a key to building effective sentences
Basic Sentence Concepts explains the subject-verb/complement pattern and shows how you can expand that pattern almost indefinitely with a few simple principles such as coordination and subordination. Now we'll look at some more advanced sentence strategies. Again the aim is to increase your versatility as a writer, to help you see the full range of options for solving writing problems. As your flexibility increases, you'll not only satisfy minimal standards of clarity and correctness, you'll express yourself with new-found energy and power. Show While the S V/C pattern, with agent as subject, is by far the most common pattern for building English sentences, it's by no means the only one. Nor is it best in every situation. Sometimes you may wish to turn things around in order to create a particular kind of emphasis or rhythm:
... the aim is to increase your versatility as a writer, to help you see the full range of options for solving writing problems. Sometimes you'll see more than one possible variation:
Such inverted sentences can be used to vary the rhythm or shift your reader's attention to an important word or phrase. When used carelessly or too often, however, they can produce an artificial, even awkward style. Activity 3.8 Try inverting the following sentences. Come up with at least one variation for each. When you're finished, compare your results with those of your classmates. Are any sentences better in normal order? Does inversion ever change the meaning?
Expletives and Passive Constructions These constructions can drain your style of vigor and confuse meaning. These common sentence patterns are undeniably useful, but overused by beginners who don't see that these constructions can drain their style of vigor and confuse meaning. Expletives, as the term is used here, are words used primarily to take up space. They fill a slot in a sentence or round out a rhythm. Their meaning isn't important. They're commonly placed in the subject slot when a writer either doesn't know or doesn't want to name the agent. Notice how "it" and "there" work in the following examples.
In both cases the second choice is more economical, more direct, and therefore preferable for most situations. Another concern with expletives as subjects is subject-verb agreement. Because "there" is neither singular nor plural, it can't tell you whether you'll need a singular or a plural verb. To learn that, you need to look at the complement.
In passive constructions the subject is the receiver of the action rather than the agent. Like constructions that open with expletives, passives can be useful when you wish to emphasize the results of an action or when you don't want to draw attention to the doer of the action.
Which is stronger? It's hard to say. True, the second sentence is slightly shorter, but the guiding factor here probably would be whether the writer wanted to emphasize the mansions or the lumber barons. Passive voice most often causes problems when it adds unnecessary words without producing any clear benefits. Find weak passive constructions in the following passage:
Activity 3.9 Read the following sentences to see if any could be improved by using expletives or passive constructions differently. Some may be fine as they stand; if so, make no change. Otherwise, rewrite the sentence to make it stronger.
Combining Sentences ... you'll discover several alternatives for expressing a single idea, and you can weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each. Most of the following activities will give you practice in combining, "de-combining," or even "re-combining" sentences. Others will ask you to write sentences that imitate specific patterns. Combining short sentences into longer ones can eliminate unnecessary words and provide more expressive flexibility. Both advantages, but especially the second, are important stylistically. As you do the activities, remember that the ultimate goal is to discover new options for self-expression. If you practice combining sentences, You can build rhythmic effects that create precisely the kinds of fluid and dynamic structures needed to express thoughts with individuality and distinction, and you can see how different patterns change the emphasis or meaning of an essential concept. Balance and Parallelism Balance in sentences is similar to balance in other areas of life. Imagine a high-wire artist above the circus ring's sawdust floor, placing one foot carefully in front of another, holding a long pole crosswise, exactly in the middle. Now read the following sentence, and notice how it does a kind of balancing act as it moves forward.
Here the balance point is the coordinator "but." Probably you can feel how it centers the sentence.
The two independent clauses balance each other, and the balance is further emphasized by the prepositional phrase that opens each clause. The structure and even certain key words from one sentence part are repeated in another. That patterned repetition is the key to balance. Sometimes the balance will be perfect, and sometimes a sentence that seems essentially balanced will have some unbalanced parts. Because these qualities are easier to see and recognize than to analyze and understand, a few more examples may be helpful:
Can you locate the balance point in the sentence above? Can you see why you should signal that point with a comma? Some people may find such elaborately balanced structures too artificial, even too repetitious. They'll want to disturb the balance by dropping a few words from one clause:
That technique can work well, but be careful not to destroy the balance completely and cause the whole sentence design to come apart:
When two or more sentence parts have similar meaning or purpose, its almost always effective to highlight that similarity with balanced structure. One especially useful kind of balance is called parallelism. See if you can find any parallel structures in the following sentence:
Because the three phrases at the end of the sentence all serve the same purpose, telling why the writer was sad, it makes sense to use structural patterns that point up the similarity. Notice what happens when we disrupt the parallelism:
Besides being less rhythmic, this version loses clarity. Does "to look for work" explain why the writer was living alone or why the writer was sad? No such problems arise in the first version, where parallel structure helps keep the rhythm smooth and the meaning clear. Activities 3.10 For each of the following sentences write an equivalent using the same pattern but filling in the missing words as needed.
3.12 As you read the following sentences, look for balanced structures, especially for parallelism. Underline any examples you find. If you find sentences that could be improved by repeating a structural pattern, rewrite them so they're stronger.
3.13 Combine each of the following groups of sentences into one single sentence containing balanced or parallel structures.
Periodic and Cumulative Structure Which sentence has the base clause at the beginning? Notice how the following sentences differ:
Which sentence has the base clause at the end? That sentence is periodic. Which sentence has the base clause at the beginning? That sentence is cumulative. When speaking of periodic structure, we'll call the elements leading up to the base clause leaders. When speaking of cumulative structure, we'll call the elements following the base clause trailers. Periodic structure:
Cumulative structure:
Some sentences, like the following, use both leaders and trailers and therefore are not purely periodic or cumulative, but rather a combination:
Can you find the base clause in that sentence? The leader? The trailer? Try switching the parts around, putting the trailer first and the leader last. What do you think of the results? Periodic Structure Beginning with a leader, besides adding variety to your sentence patterns, can help keep your reader's attention level high. So accustomed are we to reading sentences built on the S VC pattern that we start, almost immediately, to look for a base clause. Of course we aren't aware that we're looking for this, but until we find it, our attention level is especially high. As a matter of fact, this unconscious need to locate the base clause is why you often need to set off introductory elements with a comma, to signal that the leader is done and the base clause about to begin. Notice the difference:
"After" signals that we're in a dependent clause. We know, therefore, that "he" can't be the subject of the base clause, so we continue scanning for a subject. "Brother" seems a likely candidate, but wait, isn't it the complement of "had eaten"? Is this a story about cannibalism? Then we see the verb "got sick" and realize that "brother" has to be the subject. At last we can process the information. True, the first sentence keeps our attention level high clear through to the end, but it causes unnecessary confusion along the way. The second sentence indicates with a comma that the leader is complete. The third sentence is clear and correct, but lacks the energy of the second. Now look at the following two sentences:
The first sentence uses the leader to establish a time interval and arouse curiosity about what happened during that time. Then the base clause fills the gap. The second sentence, however, fills the gap before it's created, and the information about the timeframe is like an afterthought. Instead of building toward a strong ending, the sentence fades into insignificance. Activity 3.14 Combine each of the following sentence groups into a single sentence containing at least one leader before the base clause. Don't forget to set off the leader with a comma.
Cumulative Structure Its a process of gradual clarification and refinement. The main function of cumulative structure is to clarify or qualify an idea stated in a preceding base clause. Phrases and clauses at the beginning of the sentence may clarify also, but with an important difference. When we read periodic modifiers, we don't yet know what they'll modify. For that reason, and also because too long a delay of the main clause can be frustrating, leaders are generally not good places to stack up phrases and clauses intended to offer supplementary comment on the main idea. Such dependent structures are usually stronger after the base clause, as trailers. Compare the following sentences:
Here the writer wants to explain Roberto Clemente's commitment to his people. Putting that general idea in the base clause and getting it up front makes sense. Then the two trailers clarify the reasons for Clemente's caring, so that by the end of the sentence we have a more precise understanding of the central idea. It's a process of gradual clarification and refinement. The second example frustrates because it leaves us disoriented for so long. By the time we find the base clause, we're likely to have dismissed or forgotten the information in the leaders. The following diagram will help you to see how the structure of the sentence about Roberto Clemente works:
What does the first trailer modify? What does the second one modify? Can you find an example of parallel structure? Now read the following sentence and try to answer some questions about it:
What is the base clause? What three structures are parallel? What do they all modify? What does "a part for which she was neither trained nor temperamentally suited" modify? Rewrite the sentence, beginning with "Living in a cramped London apartment. . .." Is the sentence stronger or weaker? Activity 3.15 Combine each of the following groups of sentences into a single sentence that makes use of cumulative structure. Put the central idea in the base clause and position the base clause at or near the beginning of the sentence. Use parallelism to keep related ideas in similar form.
Relative Clauses One effective way of combining ideas into a single sentence is to place one of the ideas in a relative clause. This means that one of the ideas is joined to the base clause with a relative pronoun, such as who, whom, whose, which, or that. After looking at the following example, you'll probably recognize this as a familiar process.
You can see how our substitution of the relative pronoun "who" for "Albert Einstein" allows us to fold one sentence into the other. You may have noticed also that the second sentence could have served as the carrier and the first as the relative. Thus you could write either of the following, depending on what you wanted to emphasize.
Both sentences are correct, and when they appear in isolation like this, it's hard to say which is better. What can we say, though, is that the effects of the sentences are very different. The first emphasizes Einstein's dyslexia, and the second emphasizes his formulation of the theory of relativity. As you can see, the idea in the base clause, or carrier, receives emphasis. ... you'll probably recognize this as a familiar process. Choosing a relative pronoun needn't be difficult if you remember a few guidelines: 1. Who and whom are used to refer to people.
2. Whose is used to show possession.
3. Which is used to refer to animals and things.
4. That is used to refer to animals, things, and people.
Often, especially with whom and that, the relative pronoun may be omitted, making the sentence more compact and less formal.
Before concluding this section on the relative clause, two final points should be noted. First, the antecedent of the relative pronoun must be immediately and unmistakably clear. See the discussion of pronoun reference if you need to review this. Second, nonrestrictive relative clauses should be set off with commas; see rule 3 for using commas, if you need to review this. Activities 3.16 In each of the following sentences, boldface the base clause, italicize the relative pronoun and underline its antecedent, and use commas to set off the relative clause if necessary.
3.17 Combine each of the following groups of sentences into a single sentence that contains at least one relative clause.
Participial Phrases You probably have been using participial phrases unknowingly, both in your papers and in the activities above. Because participial phrases are so convenient and effective, they deserve a closer look.
The preceding contains two participial phrases, one at the beginning and one at the end, and the base clause is between them. Read the following fragments and notice what they are missing.
If you said that both word groups need to have was or is or some other word inserted after the subject, you're well on your way to understanding what participles are and how they work in sentences. What you've seen is that a participle is part of a verb, that by itself aparticipal can't serve as the main verb of a sentence. Because they're so convenient and effective, participals deserve a closer look. You may also have noticed that there are two different kinds of participles: present and past. A present participle is formed by adding ing to the verb stem. The result is the form that would be used with the helping verb is. The past participle is the verb form that would be used with the helping verb have, and it is usually, but not always, formed by adding ed to the verb stem. The chart below shows how this works.
While the participle can't serve as the main verb of a sentence without its helper, it can be used, either alone or in combination with other words, as a modifier:
In the preceding sentences, the bracketed word groups are called participial phrases. The underlined words are those the phrases modify. It's important that your reader can immediately see exactly what the phrase modifies. Notice the possibilities for confusion in the following sentences.
In both cases, confusion results from the fact that the phrases are positioned too far from the words they modify. Can you revise the sentences to eliminate the problem? If not, or if you have problems with the following activities, review the discussion of Misrelated Modifiers in Six Problem Areas. Activities 3.18 Bracket each participial phrase, and italicize the word it modifies. If you find a misrelated modifier, rewrite the sentence to eliminate the problem.
3.19 Combine each of the following groups of sentences into a single sentence containing at least one participial phrase.
Further Possibilities The activities in this section will give you more practice with the constructions and processes you've been working with. They ask you to draw upon what you've been learning about sentence structure and to use that knowledge to make decisions about stylistic effectiveness. The goal is to become more aware of the options available and to make effective choices among them. In the end you'll be more nearly able to say exactly what you want to say in precisely the way you want to say it. Activities 3.20 Read the following groups of sentences carefully, paying particular attention to their construction. When you've finished, look back over the sentences and decide which one you think is most effective. Then find the one you think is least effective. Be prepared to explain your choices. The goal is to become more aware of the options available and to make effective choices among them.
3.21 Long sentences aren't always preferable to short ones. Loose sentences that run on without shape or direction should always be avoided, and even a well-constructed sentence can get too complex and unwieldy. Also, occasional short sentences add variety and emphasis to your writing. Break the following long sentences into at least two or three shorter ones.
3.22 Use your own judgment and imagination to combine the following sentences into a clear, effective paragraph. This activity asks you to look beyond individual sentences to a sequence of sentences. You may want to follow a few periodic sentences with a cumulative sentence, a few long ones with a very short one. Besides rhythm and pacing, consider emphasis, determining which ideas to put in a base clause and which to put in modifiers.
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